Well you know this is a very old topic if you know me even little. I would always speak about it on and on. Ya its one of my big achievements in life. When I am down or feel like losing, I turn to remember this moment of my life when I had achieved something which was like a distant dream then. This feeling, helped me fight big obstacles later on.
It was the year 2005, I was 16 yrs old. My life was very simple. I went to a junior college about which I tell only in my resume or when I have to fill a college form. Ya, I didn’t like it. I had regretted then that why did I chose this college when I had the likes of kc and jaihind in hand. However, now I can see the bright side of that decision. I don’t know what would have happened to me if not for what I had done in 2005. Didn’t have much friends then. Not even a single friend from junior college whose name even I know today. That was the only time in my life when I used to sit in a library for long. Gadgets hadn’t intruded our lives then, ya but I already had my first ipod. I was completely on my own, lost and focused on my education. Used to watch movies alone, spend time on my old desktop playing games, didn’t have a full time internet connection also. It was simple, and smooth. Didn’t have any bad habits also.
You know life can never be smooth is what I have learned all these years. If it is, then there is something wrong which you are ignoring or I would request you to share your secret. So my simple life had one big problem, the biggest problem which disturbed me every day of my then life. That problem didn’t let me live a normal childhood. Its a problem faced by many like me all over the globe. OBESITY. I weighed more then at that age than what I today. I was bulky, bad at sports, a subject of mockery and constant lecturing. Not a day passed by when I was not told about it. There was a time when papa’s clothes fitted me perfectly. Readymade jeans weren’t meant for me. During those years, whatever clothes I wore had to be after a year either donated or used by someone else because my increase wasn’t stopping. Today I don’t even remember much about those times of agony, because its an old chapter, but then it was tough.
I had tried then also on my own, a lot of times to fight this but then it was not giving the results. My approach was wrong, or my attitude was wrong. That urge, that passion was missing. I had started to ignore my problem, stopped to even check my weight. It was too embarrassing even to do it in front of a doctor. The doctor would then lecture me. When i was 14, I weighed 89 is what I remember from my faded memories.
So what exactly happened in 2005.
Teasing me was normal, I was used to it. Most of them would be school friends. At home also sometimes I was taunted to do something, but I ignored. So it was like once a while I would get frustrated and one or two days I wouldn’t eat properly but rest of the time I was ok with it I would forget it.
But then one day, something happened that triggered me to do something which I write about today. I don’t even remember that person to express gratitude today. The guy must be like in his mid 20-s, sitting next to me in the bus when i was going to college. He didn’t tease me, I would not even say he hurt me. Whatever he did was unintentional for him. He just asked me about his stop, where he wanted to get down. But in the process he called me “uncle”. This 5 letter word suddenly stuck the centre of all my neural system to wake up a dead soul. Even with no one who knew being around there, I was embarrassed within to my core. Imagine a 16 year old being called like this and that too not by a child, but by someone elder to him. The trigger had been pressed now, the bullet had to come out. There was only one thought which dictated me, there was only one purpose I could see, There was only thing which I wanted in life, there was only one prayer, nothing else I could see.
So now that I had lost my mind and knew what I wanted to do, my journey going down had begun. So first step was to know where exactly i was in kgs term. I went to the doctor I used to visit only during fever to check my weight and then came another shocker. It showed “98”. I didn’t have words to speak then, I just walked away in disbelief. I still sight his machine to be improper, but however that had become the second trigger.
When I came home that day, my mom had as usual cooked food and I hadn’t eaten also that day. I was hungry but I didn’t feel like eating. When I was eating my food, I remember keeping the pieces of potato aside and eating little of the other stuff which also I left half way. I went out and cried not only because of where I was, because I didn’t know the way to get out of that situation. My past attempts were short and I had failed. This time there was something different in the air.
All I knew was to eat less, from talking to people who already overcome this problem, it made me start walking. But somehow, I couldn’t feel any progress. I knew this time I needed help from someone who would guide me and monitor my progress and constantly remind me what I had come for. With divine grace, I came across this right person at the right time, whom I am still in touch with and who selflessly helps me even today. I am truly grateful to her. My passion to lose and become fit mixed with her perfect guidance, it was the perfect recipe. When I met her first, I didn’t know what was coming. I knew only one thing that there had to be perseverance. There was a diet schedule, lists of dos and don’ts. It was like there was someone who could understand and was willing to help. Someone was there to show me the way. The week between my first two meetings was very important. I had lost 1.5 kg in my first week, there were times when I used to lose 2 in a week. I was very disciplined those days. I had a passion to achieve what I wanted. I would be very serious about what I ate, I would eat only one chapati, would not eat it if i could sense any oil or ghee over it. It was difficult for my mom initially. But gradually, she helped me in my customized diet. I used to eat early, walk during evenings, exercise a lot. Walk very fast and my speed improved day by day. Street food would be completely ignored. I would eat only that much what was necessary even at weddings. No sweets. I remember that summer i didn’t even touch mango. I used to never skip my walk and exercises even if there was any exam or another event. I would sweat but not stop. The same people who used to taunt me for eating much taunted me for eating less. Some who would meet me after a long time would see me in shock. My face had changed. I had lost a lot of fat. The change was clearly visible. I had lost my waist from 40 to 36, which I still maintain today, My entire wardrobe had to be changed. I had to alter my jeans and I started shopping later on.
Why Remembering this Today
Finally managed to find this diary of my records. It was 11th Feb that day and its 11th Feb today. 8 years and the cycle repeats, Somehow today, I am on the same road but today I am in a much better state. Not much difficult compared to that time. But still lacking the passion. Nobody hurts me like then, ya constant criticism i still do face but more on my overall fitness than just weight. But I have learnt a lot from my past. Sometimes, there is no better person to motivate you than you yourself. So I got myself, this page to constantly remind myself what I am capable of, and what I am wanting to achieve is nothing impossible.
It was Feb then, it is Feb now. I am just wanting 2013 to be in sync with 2005. So I am already going good in that sense.
Hope to share a happy ending with you in some months.